In Other News...

"Ted Haggard Says He Is Now "Completely Heterosexual"



A fellow minister says the Reverend Ted Haggard has come out of intense counseling, convinced he's "completely heterosexual."

Haggard resigned from the presidency of the National Association of Evangelicals last year after allegations of misconduct with a former male prostitute.

The Reverend Tim Ralph, who was one of four ministers monitoring Haggard's progress, says the disgraced minister insists his extramarital activities were limited to the one man. And Ralph tells The Denver Post no one else came forward to deny that.

In a weekend e-mail to church members, Haggard said he and his wife plan to pursue master's degrees in psychology. And they're considering moving to the Midwest."


Yeah, 'cause I heard the mid-west is where people go when they want to avoid Crystal Meth and Gay Prostitutes. I fucking love Christians. Almost as much as I love the French.