It's all relative
1. How many siblings do you have?
Two. Two bigger brothers. One who used to babysit me, the other who used to force me to smell his socks. I hang out more with the sock jackass now.
2. Do you get along with your family?
Depends. Our family dinners are hilarious. We're the "black sheep" family of our family and we bond as such. But get us in the same house for too long and we're real quick to find fault with each other...and scream about it...loudly...
3. Think you look like anyone in your family?
Here's the thing. I'm the youngest of three children. When you look at my two older brothers, and then at me, it's like they had a female love child and I popped out. I just figure my parents did it wrong the first two times and I'm the "juuust right" part of the three bears.
4. Do you want / do you have any children of your own?
Don't have any that I admit to, and would eventually love to have two kids. They don't necessarily have to be my children by birth even (how very lesbian of me...or how very Angelina Jolie, whichever...)
5. Special plans for Mother's Day?
Same old same old for all family events. I travel to Scarborough via subway, get picked up at the station, have a big four person family dinner (my oldest brother lives in the States) and then spend the night 'cause no one's sober enough to drive me back to the subway (and No I won't take the bus...from where my family lives, I'd rather
not
spend the two hours travelling across Scarborough on the frikkin' "Rocket").
Now. Firday Five out of the way, I'd just like to take a moment to shoot out at one of my pet peeves (oddly, probably one of my biggest pet peeves, and yet it's not on my top five list...): Strangers who think they're allowed to touch you. 'Cause they're not. Not even if they ask.
Here's the thing. A couple of days ago I drove over to Kate's and found her talking to the odd little man, who would later introduce himself to me as Matthew. I shook his hand (mmm, clammy...) and found out in about ten minutes that:
1) I'm gay and out!
2) I didn't know if you were a dude or a girl...don't hit me...
3) I'm new to the neighborhood, so if you see me......
Yeah. 'Cause I'm a huge fan of talking to strangers. It's no secret that I don't like people. The majority of them are stupid. Lets face it. Look at, say, the American Television Viewing Audience. They're a pretty dumb bunch and there's Millions of them. And I don't really need to waste my time talking to
anyone who was responsible for keeping Full House on the tube for what? Eight years?
So now I was forced into future pleasantries with this clammy handed gay fellow. (Kate thinks he's staying in one of the halfway houses on the street...just the kind of "new" friends I like...the kind who have rules imposed on them by "the State" as a way of living...). And I was going to have to acknowledge him if I ran into him...
...like the next morning. When I was on my way to my car to go home. And he was walking up. And saw me. And asked me to give him a hug. A frikkin' hug. Like the clammy handshake wasn't enough! And Then he frikkin' complained when I only gave him an awkward half hug. "No, a real hug!" For the love of....so I hugged him...better...
I didn't want to hug this guy. I don't really want to hug anyone right now but Kate. It's kinda always been that way. My friend Geln is the same way and he calls himself "Tactile Intolerant". Works for me. I am "intolerant" when it comes to touching other people. I have my space, you have yours. People I've known for Years hafta fight to get a hug from me. But that's 'cause you can tell friends to get lost. Not so easy with "acknowledgeable strangers".
So now I'm left used and abused, feeling a little clammier (and yes even the Hug was clammy...like clammy back hug...yes I
know I'm an asshole) and having a need to rant. Which I think I've accomplished marvelously.
Oh, and just so we're clear, I may avoid stupid people like the plague, but I find them terribly amusing. As do most people. Thus the huge success of Reality TV.
Oh, and I do appreciate the fact that world does allow for people like Matthew, friendly, outgooing, maybe a little crazy. Kudos to people like him for existing. Bigger kudos if they manage to not come in physical contact with me...unless they're dangerously cute female types....
FYI SECTION:
Top Five Pet Peeves:
1) The Need To Urinate - I firmly believe the world would be a better place if no one had to ever pee again. It's annoying, it always comes on at the worst possible times (driving, sex, movies, bars...). It makes you have to frequent public bathrooms. It just sucks. Really.
2) Cellophane and all such products - I buy lots of CDs. Some jackass invented that crappy cellophane wrapping that I wrestle to open
every frikkin' time! Whoever that man is, he should be kicked in the teeth.
3) Public Bathrooms - Women suck sometimes. And when you're a chick who likes like a dude, public bathrooms will usually be the place that'll show you how much women can suck. Thank God most people are scared of me enough to just try and avoid me.
4) Pedestrians - Forget the fact that most pedestrians are just stupid people who can't afford cars. And forget the fact that I live in the jaywalking capitol of Canada. Fact is, pedestrians are out to get me. They are. Whether it be with the "I'm only pretending to talk to this guy on the corner until you try to turn the corner
then I'll walk out in front of you and look at you in disgust 'cause you almost hit me" or the "hey I haven't seen this guy in
years
. Let's stop and talk
in the middle of the road" pedestrians are always doing something
really stupid to piss me off. It's a conspiracy. I know it is.
5) Wet Pant Cuffs - Rain and jeans that hang down low don't mix. Nothing more annoying than that feeling, after you've walked in the rain, and you take off your shoes and your pant cuffs rest nicely onto your socks and create wet spots. Yum.
